The Politics of Dirt Biking – Alberta Edition

The Politics of Dirt Biking – Alberta Edition
Written By: Jordana Clark

…and no we aren’t talking about trail closures by the NDP, but that is a thing.

It’s election time here in Alberta and the dirt is flying, but we don’t really like that kind of dirt.
We much prefer the free kind (if that exists anymore), the kind you get to dig up and grind with those beautiful two wheels of yours.

Much like the argument of Notley or Kenney, we’ve all heard the, ride red, ride blue, ride orange. It would even seem some live their brand so hard they bleed the colour. We pose the question what is the best bike of all and who should be the reigning champion over the trail? Is it the much loved and well populated KTM, or the underdogs rocking the blue, yellow or green?

Being honest, the writer of this article is no mechanic – actually a graphic designer who knows more about the plastics than the guts. So, from a non-mechanical perspective and also from a 5’3” female riders perspective, let’s talk bikes.

YAMAHA

What does the blue have to offer me as a rider? Well, unlike the conservatives, a whole lot actually!
While I am much too short to toss a leg over a factory 250x this bike has the most affordable price tag, great aesthetic and oh hey…did I mention it seems like the parts are a fraction of the price of most competitors? I’ve heard the suspension can be weird in these suckers but Alberta is full of great suspension guys like Airdrie’s own Jeff Reynolds of Reynolds Brothers Racing – although beware I think his blood might run orange…

 

SUZUKI

Can’t lie, this bike is the one I am least familiar with. I’ve never rode one nor have I wanted to own one, why? Simple, I don’t like yellow. Fickle yes but enough to stop me from making that investment. The big turn off from this is, they no longer make 2 strokes but neither do Honda, and Kawasaki. However, in 2008 Suzuki brought fuel injection to the dirt bike world. So we can give them that, and only that…

I am guessing the parts are cheaper on these suckers too, but really I haven’t seen too many out there at an adult scale. Politically I guess you could say it’s a little like the green party because it’s not an off-roaders first choice and no one really ever knows what Suzuki is doing out there.

 

KAWASAKI

Wow! This bike, if it were a human I am certain it would have a less than a respectable profession. She gets around, at least the KX 100 version does, and really, it’s like the dirty little teenage sister of the lineup. It likes to be wound right out and has had a place in most peoples lives. Politically I guess you could say it is most like a Monica – no last name needed. Great bike! Versatile and easily built into that entry-level bush machine or easy to maintain as a little ripper at the track. Like I said, she gets around.

 

KTM

Although it is orange like the NDP it is hardly as big of an asshole. These suckers never lie, they just mess you right up if you don’t ride em right. Even though I ride a KTM I can’t really say too much about it. It’s a big bike, kicks my ass every time I get on. They hold a big price tag off the floor for the “prestigious” orange and the cost of some of the parts will literally bleed your wallet dry. I guess a KTM would best be described as a dominating mistress made from heaven and hell – no relation to politics or is there?

 

HUSQVARNA

Husky is much like the KTM – well almost exactly the same as a KTM to be honest. With some models sporting features seeming to be a little more forgiving than the orange step sister and possibly a little more flexible (and not in a good way) like their subframes and swingarms. These bikes would be less the dominating mistress and more like the high price call girl. She’ll treat you right and then run off with all your money, pants and shoes at the end of the night – Again no relation to politics or is there?

 

BETA

Beta’s are coming up. They make bikes for every kind of riding with a little Italian flare, politically they would be that shitty politician’s assistant who one day sneaks up to kick everyone’s ass because they sat back observing the carnage. I personally am a fan of these stallions, they are clean, fast and they come in my size so that’s a win right there. The Xtrainer comes in at 15% smaller than a full-size bike making life flow a little smoother for a smaller rider. Sneaky, sneaky.

Honda

Wow, where to start, oh wait, they don’t like to. These are the invaders who come in, take over the country then retreat. I am pretty sure most people who ride would jump at the chance if Honda were to revive the 2 stroke. We can all agree they were pretty cool. The Honda’s 150R (race model) notoriously has you kicking for a ½ hour while your friends are already out riding…yeah, I think we are all done with that – as we are with the NDP.

 

HUSABERG, GAS GAS, TM, FANATIC and all other models

 

These are all those political parties, again like the green party who are just there to throw the vote and toss things up. We never really know what the hell they are doing, looking all weird in the minority corner.

 

The final debate…

2 stroke or 4? A comparable argument to conservative or liberal. I think I’ve made my stance pretty clear, 2 stroke forever. However, we’ve all heard the debate of which is better. Maybe 4 strokes are coming up strong with their newer lighter models (and E start like a gift from above, except you Suzuki, get your shit together) but who doesn’t love the sound of a fresh and crisp 2-stroke over the violent scream of a 4 stroke with an exhaust that will burn you like that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Let alone the mechanical ease of a 2 stroke and mixing gas to haul ass part…

But we’ll leave that debate for another time and another day.